To be angry or to forgive: That is the Question

Anger is one of the strongest emotions emitted from a person. When anger takes over someone, guards go up, ideas about someone change, and the simplicity of being happy jumps out the window. But what draws anger? Passion. To be fully passionate about something and get let down from that one thing could immediately transpire into anger. But the challenge in our every day lives is to stay away from anger while maintaining your passionate attitude. That is one hard task to accomplish; I know. I personally have this challenge as one of the greatest things I need to work on.

So how can we stay away from anger? Or even more so, if anger does enter into our lives, how do we steer away from it? One word comes to mind when I think of this- FORGIVENESS. Regardless of how bad the situation is, forgive them. Instead of anger, be grateful for the lesson and move on. Everyone makes mistakes. It is easy to hold grudges sometimes making it near impossible to let go of. But this is what is essentially holding you back from happiness so just let go. This may take some time or it could be instaneous but finding a clear and forgiving mind before you approach someone about an issue is also extremely important. Forgive before someone asks for forgiveness- my hand of harmony today. 

Last night I took the wrong approach. I went into an apology still mad...and I came out mad. As I reflected on my way home, I came to the realization that I should have already forgave this person before I even went into it. I replayed it in my head. The apology could have been said, I would have said thank you, and we could have a great time. Instead, my anger about the situation overtook all other emotions. I went home and I meditated. A big shout out to DirecTV and their "Zen" music channel. In my meditation, I picked out all of the apology words that were said to me and only those words. I removed blame out of my head; I removed anger. My mind only saw forgiveness and appreciation. I became appreciative because this person was very much sorry for their actions. Although I was finally able to see a different side, it should have been done before I even decided to meet and talk about the problem. However, I am grateful that this happened because I am able to share this hand of harmony with you so that your forgiveness overpowers your anger you forgive before being asked for it.

Remember that forgiveness should overtake all of the angers in your life, even if an apology never comes. Always looking for something in return means your forgiveness is fake. True pardon of mistakes comes from within regardless of how someone reacts to what they've done. True strength is finding piece of mind even when you feel wronged the most.  If you are feeling angry about anything, take time to truly reflect on it and forgive. Your heart and your mind will only get beaten up more and more if anger and resentment are the only emotions filling it. But when you focus on your power of forgiveness, your strength to move on without a grudge, and your ability to find a balance between your passion and your anger, you truly grasp this hand of harmony.

I urge you to take this with you and forgive someone or something today... I know that is what I am going to do : )

Do something nice today...

A great way to start feeling better about yourself is to just simply do something that you know will make someone else smile. It will help you smile and feel good. It is about as straightforward as that. It may be offering help to someone face to face or performing a random act of kindness that you never even see the outcome of. But knowing that whatever nice thing you do is a geniune act will give you a great sense of gratification.

This morning while walking my dog, I starting picking up all the newspapers that were delivered to the bottom of the driveway and placing them near the front door. I see neighbors scurrying out to get the newspaper in their robes all the time. I thought someone may really appreciate this because it was a cold morning. I never actually saw anyone's reaction, but I played the scene in my head as if I were there to witness it. I saw a person opening their door, look both ways getting ready to hurry down the driveway, and then realizing their paper was right at their feet! I imagined them looking up again gazing both ways, slightly confused why the newspaper that is always delivered inches from the street ended up inches from their door. I saw a subtle smile glaze over their face as they walked back in the house. My imagination running wild of what could have happened based on this simple act of kindness made me smile the entire rest of my walk! It felt so good to know that I was going to brighten someone's day by doing something so small.

So, you're probably thinking right now why would I go out of my way to do anything for anyone else when no one ever does anything for me? Well my question to you is why would anyone do anything for you when all you've been doing are things for yourself? I understand that some people may be less receptive to acts of kindness, but that should be incentive to continue those acts to help make the change in how people view each other. Plant your seed. Once you start being a little nicer to other people, you will start to see how much people will start being nicer towards you. Crazy thought huh? Well, it's is easy to lose site of this when you are caught up in your owns frustrations and anger.  

I thought of a challenge, more like a hand of harmony, to help you on this journey:

Every time you start to think about what isn't being done for you, do three acts of kindness. I guarantee you will see a shift in your attitude towards others, you will start to like doing nice things for other people, and you will find a lot more people want to go out of their way to do nice things for you too.

-JR

What is your key to happiness?

An essential component on the journey of true happiness begins with a simple key, a building block that defines exactly what makes you happy. Illustrate and define your key. What makes you truly happy? Look at the key above. Study all of the components of this that would make it fit and work perfectly to opening a locked door. What do you see?

I see three main components in the image of this key: 1) a handle, 2) the support, and 3) the unique puzzle piece that fits perfect into the door. Now, apply this to your life.

The Handle

How would you handle a situation while maintaining happiness? Particularly, how would you handle a difficult situation keeping your own happiness in mind? It may be easier at this point to look back and see how you handled a difficult issue in the past especially if the outcome made you feel bad in any way. Close your eyes and replay the event in your head. How could have handled this differently? What would have made you happy if your handle was based primarily on your own happiness? How could it have transpired into a better outcome? Step back and now think of your handle in more general terms. How we handle any situation should be based on what you want to come out of it. Compromising your own happiness will always leave you feeling unsatisfied. Grasp your handle and hold onto to what would truly make you happy in all situations- both big and small.

The Support

Many people forget to use the amazing resource of support, which may lead to feelings of uneasiness or second guessing. How can one be truly happy if they are always second guessing themselves? Please note though, that support should leave you feeling happy. Positive support should be the only support you accept. Your goal is true happiness, so if there are people you rely on for support that tend to leave you feeling even worse or more confused afterwards, perhaps you could start to search for a new support system. Always respect their opinions and be grateful for their advice because you did ask them for help, but gracious walk away and reach out again. Find something or someone that gives you a clearer mindset or a better perspective to ensure the support of your key is working! Ultimately, you are your greatest support in search of your goal, but always having someone who you know will have your back on all of the decisions that get you to that goal is a critical portion of your key. 

The Unique Puzzle Piece

To save the best for last, the unique puzzle piece is the main ingredient to your happiness. Think of all the things to make one single puzzle piece. Now think of it this way- you are the puzzle piece. There are exclusive elements in your life that make you truly happy. Close your eyes again while thinking of this idea. Envision something that makes you smile or laugh or feel completely loved. Draw a piece of puzzle and put all of those ideas- places, events, people, or things that give you the utmost joy and keep it. It is easy to lose sight of happiness during the tough times, but holding onto all of those things that make you happy gives you a bigger and brighter picture of what your life should be about. Take a minute to grasp the elements of your own personal euphoric life, and use this technique to help remind you that true happiness can be obtained again because it already has been.

Always keep in mind that a key only works with all of its components together. You can only turn the key with the handle; you can only maintain the power of the key with the support; and, you can only open the door with the unique piece to tie it all together.

May this hand of harmony help you in your journey to true happiness...

-JR